ok,back again.supposed to discuss lit pt online fm 7.30pm onwards but now,already 8.15,no one is online,so here i am,updating my blog.
ytd was teacher's day!so here's a belated HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY to all teachers!ya.on thurs i went back to mcs.i left sku w xin ping then met a ex-mcsian.n u noe who she is?i tink she is e vice-chairperson of the psb dis yr(sec 4) n las tym she was our head prefect when i was in p3.i dint recognise her though...sorry!xin ping noes her so she talked to her.i tink i seemed quite unfriendly.ya.i did.haiz.tts e prob w me.i too shy liao n too straightforward liao.how?haiz.anw,let me continue.then we reached mcs.we werent allowed to go in at first then everyone were lyk standing at e security office.then finally get in.but we were oni allowed in e canteen n foyer.but we dint care.we went upstairs to e staffroom n we saw ms tien,mdm khoo,mrs loh,wang2 lao3 shi1, and some others.our 'juniors' were lyk staring at us all e wae n for e first tym,i felt TALL!yay!then we were chased downstairs by mr chong.fine.then we went to canteen n we saw e saint nics girls.ya.fine,i was extremely xtra.xtremely xtremely EXTRA!well its nt for e 1st tym.until jia hui came.i felt relieved.then we talked.then i felt xtra again.then i saw brenda.so happy when i saw her,but i dint bring her pressie.i hope we will meet again.but i dun tink i going back to mcs again.for now.then i saw breanna.she looks different n so much cuter now.wow.our class full of chio girls xcept someone n tts ME.haiz.wadeva.i left early w jia hui.then i heard fm yihui tt they all went to j8 and she met them there.i tink.i dint go cos anw i will b so extra n invisible.haiz.i tink i too shy leh.but if i n someone a bit closer then my mouth will go shoot n anyhow sae things sometimes.nt everyone though...jus random ppl.so i dun dare to make many many frens.later all dun be my frens all at one tym then i will be so lonely all over again lyk i m everyday aft sku.haiz.i hv oreadi lost afew frens dis yr,jus 9 months aft sku started.i feel bad,guilty,angry,sad,n many many contradicting feelings which i dunno how to describe.i often wonder why is my mouth lyk tt.why?i dunno.i m at a loss.i once felt tt i was vry accomplished,clever and vry lovable.but i was wrong.wrong.and still wrong.i nvr was any of those.and tt is why i feel so bad.my arrogance n proudness in e las few yrs if there was any,i dunno,but i tink there is.my unfriendliness towards others.my unwillingliness.my mistakes.my carelessness.my ignorance.i am sorry towards any whom i hv hurt or angered through my many bad points.i am trying to change.i really am.but it seems tt i hv no time and no chance.i dunno.i nvr did give myself a chance to 'repent',did i?i dunno.i really don't.pls pls do tell me wad i shuld do.
sry if dis seems lyk a journal entry.it jus came out.
k i m so totally pissed.i thot i finished everything--pts,s-l,etc.but now still hv hw,lit pt,s-l hvnt finish selling,n many many more things to do.n i cant believe myself.i alwaes digress.see tv then on n watch wadeva show is on,see comp then jus on n go webbie surfing nt tt i noe wad to do when i on.its jus for no reason at all!!!!i am so pissed off w myself n my life!why cant i resist the temptation?why cant i hv proper time managment?why?why?why?
i finished this entry at 8.45pm.
signing off,wenyi
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